I have fought, really hard, against depression for over 40 years. Throughout these decades, I vowed depression was not going to stop me from enjoying my passions and the simple things in life. I took medications, even when I hated their effects. I went to countless psychologists, psychiatrists, mental health counselors, social workers, and group therapy. Unfortunately, unbelievably, none of that psychotherapy helped. I have many horror stories about my time in therapy with these professionals; I pretty much have sworn them off. I’ve always managed depression with medication and a good deal of self-help.
For the last 1 1/2 years, my depression has been the worst it has ever been. A constant day-to-day struggle. I have made weekly visits to my doctor to tweak my medications over this time period. Talked and talked and talked. Unfortunately, I still feel horrible. This depression I’m experiencing is actually making me contemplate a visit to a psychotherapist! I always vowed that I wouldn’t let depression define me; I wouldn’t let it control my life, but it finally has. As much as I want to take control of my life, as much as I want my happy back, I can’t find it. For the first time in my life, depression is sucking the life out of me.
This blog is intended to start a dialogue with those who are also dealing with depression. My goal is to share my experiences with therapy and medications. I will discuss how I am misunderstood because of this disease and my need to be understood. This blog is about expressing my physical and emotional pain and the toll this is taking on me every day. In return, I hope a dialogue will ensue. I hope you will join me in this conversation so we can all learn, grow and possibly get our happy back!
When I am not experiencing low energy levels due to depression, I enjoy gardening, bicycling, rehabbing my home, arts and crafts of any kind and being near the Gulf of Mexico, Bayfront or anything water! Most of all, I enjoy watching my young adult son turn into a true gentleman and watching his dreams come true.
I Want My Happy Back 